Thursday, March 26, 2009

Surgery? Force-feeding veggies? Changes?

Today, I'm sitting in the Pulmonary Clinic at UVa, waiting for my mother who is having the Gastric Bypass Surgery sometime in the next few weeks. She hopes they can schedule it for April the 6th.

EDIT: Her surgery is scheduled for April the 20th. That also happens to be my grandmother's and my cat's birthdays.

I am not so thrilled about this. It scares me. Seriously... It's just not natural or safe how much weight you lose in how fast a time. Not to mention, the complications that can occur during the surgery and can happen after the surgery. Not to mention the sagging skin that is left after all the weight is lost. It just gives me the creeps. Not the skin, necessarily, but the surgery in general.

For those of you who don't know what the surgery consists of, let me give you a quick run-down.

The doctors go in with their scopes and make four to six small incisions. Through those tiny holes, they actually staple off the majority of the stomach. Then, they completely bypass the small intestine and route the large intestine directly into the stomach.

When they're finished, the stomach will only be about the size of a fist and it can only hold about one cup of food. Which make you lose weight super fast because calories aren't being absorbed. Makes sense, but it's scary as hell.

My mother is super excited about the whole deal. I mean, she's nervous, but excited. Which is good, right? No body wants to go through with something that they're terrified of.

But, my father and I aren't so excited. It's going to change everything. Food at my house will be different, for the first few weeks, mom won't be cooking so I'll get to do that.

Oh joy!
Oh rapture!

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like to cook... It's that I don't like to cook for my father because he sucks at life. He doesn't eat fish, he doesn't like grilled chicken, he doesn't like this, that or the other. It's annoying as all holy crap. I told him already that he's going to be eating a lot more healthy when I start doing the cooking, lots more veggies, more whole wheat pastas, less pastas all around, less fried foods, less hamburgers, less steak and MORE salads. You get the picture... Lots more healthy, lots less red meat. I also told him that we'll be getting the "Healthy Heart Smart Start" butter, you know, that spreadable stuff that they give people who aren't supposed to eat the fats in regular butter?

Needless to say, he wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of eating veggies and/or salads with every meal. But, come on! He's already had a heart attack. I'm trying to keep him out of the ground for a few more years. He doesn't see it that way, naturally. He thinks I'm trying to kill him faster. Maybe he'll choke on a piece of broccoli. It's better than choking on a piece of steak. Ew. I do not enjoy steak. I just don't like it. So, he'll be eating it a lot less often. I've also told him we'll be eating more turkey instead of cow. This doesn't thrill him, either.

My mother doesn't care. She loves turkey and veggies and whole wheat pasta. I told dad that he's out numbered so his opinion doesn't matter. He glared at me and went back to watching whatever lame show he was watching. Oh well, he'll survive!

Another change - I'm joining a gym. I've decided that it's time I start getting myself in shape. I feel icky. And, I just don't feel pretty any more. I used to love the way I look - so what, I'm not a size six. If you're not okay with that, keep your freaking' mouth shut. It's none of your damned business, anyway. But, I'm just not happy with me any more. Starting Tuesday, that's going to change. :)

I'm also getting my hair cut. I've had the same hair cut since I was in high school. After my traumatic experience of chopping my hair off in the eighth grade, I think I've been a wee bit scissor shy. But, I'm almost twenty-one years old and I could still pass for a high school freshman. Not cool. That is also changing on Tuesday. I'm excited - I think. We'll see what comes from it, won't we?

Maybe things will work out amazingly! Here's to hoping so!

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